How to Avoid Swamp Ass
Consider the swamp: It’s humid. It’s grimy. It’s uncomfortable. It’s just like your butt crack during the summer months—at least, if you’re like most people. Swamp ass, otherwise known as butt sweat, can make you self-conscious and seriously challenge your libido.
Luckily, the condition is curable. Read on to see our top tips for a dry, sexy butt.
THE ALL-TOO-COMMON CAUSES OF SWAMP ASS
Before we dig into the solutions, let’s look at how this problem arises. Basically, swamp ass is a concern any time your ass and high temperatures combine. You might be working in an office during a heat wave, doing sensual stretches, or sitting in an unheated subway car—it doesn’t really matter what provokes the sweat. The fact is, moisture can easily collect between your butt cheeks with no place to go, leading to discomfort, stains, or even chafing.
HOW CAN I PREVENT SWAMP ASS?
If that situation sounds horribly unsexy and no FUN at all, know that it’s pretty easy to prevent it. Our number-one dry-ass tip is to wear cotton underwear, because it’s breathable enough to keep your bits cool and allows sweat to evaporate, rather than collecting. If you’re still soaking your cotton undies for non-sexual reasons, you can always carry a spare pair in your purse or tote bag.
Aside from wearing comfy underwear, you can keep sweat at bay by getting on your feet. This way, it has less of a chance of collecting where you don’t want it. If you’re sitting at your desk all day, take periodic breaks and go for a short walk.
Finally, you can take a cue from the parents of yesteryear and apply a sprinkling of cornstarch to your bum to keep it dry.
THINGS THAT MAKE SWAMP ASS WORSE
When you’re putting in the work to stop swamp ass, the last thing you want to do is cancel out your efforts. So, for your own sake, don’t hang out in a wet swimsuit or dampened workout clothes—change out of them right away. The tight fabric and moisture could lead to skin irritation.
You also wouldn’t want to wear hot, non-breathable fabrics, like wool, leather, or polyester. Even if you’re wearing cotton underwear underneath your pleather leggings, the fabric will trap heat around your booty, leading to swampiness.
SEX IN TIMES OF SWAMP ASS
If you’re facing stubborn swampiness but you still want to get busy, you can make it happen. Lie on your back in bed so your butt is covered by the bedsheets, or rest your butt against a sex wedge—the cover is removable and machine-washable!
Of course, you can always have shower sex. All our toys are waterproof, and our dildos are equipped with suction bases that adhere well to shower walls or doors. See? Having sex with swamp ass is (pun intended) no sweat.